In a pick-up game of basketball or any other sport for that matter there are no referees so you have to make your own calls. It is fairly normal to have a guy amongst the many to be known as a flopper... he'll call a foul on you for standing anywhere near him; if you touch him he'll fall and whine about injury; he's capable of more melodrama than a teenage girl in the throes of heartbreak. I do not like that guy. Nobody likes that guy.
I take it to the extreme. That is, I am the complete opposite of him... to my own detriment. I would call my own fouls against others but I rarely called fouls that others committed on me. Even the obvious ones. I cannot fathom why. I only know that I have always behaved this way and lately I have been wondering about it.
|Photo by Joe Pic|
On July 1st I fought for the 115lbs Tuff-n-Uff Title in Las Vegas. In the 3rd round my opponent was deducted a point for headbutting. The fight ended in a draw. She had been warned throughout the fight to stop. This is not a question of incident or accident. I prefer to not be cynical about this. I prefer to give her the benefit of the doubt as I do with most people about general life occurrences. I prefer to not assume malicious intentions. And ultimately it is simple, as coaches say over and over again: we fight how we are trained to fight.
The questions for me have to do with why I have to reconcile for myself that a foul was called, a point deducted. I wonder about how I have not changed. Why do I still prefer to lose over calling Foul? How absurd of me. But yet those feelings are there.
I think about my many nephews and nieces. I wonder what I have taught them. Share. Give. Be considerate. Play fair. Sounds like good teachings. But really what I say without saying is: Share (so that other kids have more time with your toys than you do yourself); Give (so that others have more than you have); Be considerate (think of others before thinking of yourself); Play fair (even when others are being unfair to you).
I do not know when I will get to play basketball again but I hope it happens in the near future. I am going to practice calling foul when a foul occurs. I am going to practice feeling okay about it. Maybe I will get this chance with one of my nephews or nieces. Maybe I will teach them by example that playing fair means being fair to yourself also.