Being in the company of fighters I learned fairly quickly that fights get canceled all the time. It is part of the sport. This is combat. Athletes get hurt regularly. Everyone works hard for the opportunity to fight and landing a fight can seem almost impossible at times. When your chance falls through it can be devastating. I have seen grown men cry over this.
So I began working on this part of my game early on. After observing it time and again I decided that I do not want to be psychologically and emotionally wrecked by a normal occurrence. So I am not in a hurry anymore even though I understand that my time is limited in this sport. I will fight when it is my time to fight and that is all. I will train and work to be ready for the moments when they come. Incidents and Accidents occur.
I have a very recent back injury sustained while pulling a 6ft 180+lbs teammate across the mats during Jiujitsu training. There is nothing abnormal about this or expecting me even to be able to do this. I simply did not pay close enough attention to my body mechanics during the exercise. I did not know any damage was done until I stood up after the third repetition. I did not know how bad it might be until I tried to jog right after and could not do so without pain. I was in denial for 24 hours and I still fall into that fantasy.
I am scheduled to fight in one week. I have told the promoter that this is not looking likely. He wants to wait and see. The optimist in me wants to wait and see also. But my coaches are protecting me. They have told me, No. They are realizing that they have to protect me in training also. I have been working on mind over matter. I have felt the personal and private shame of quitting. So now I will not stop. I will cry and hyperventilate and puke before I give in.
In regards to whether or not I should feel bad about having to pull out of a fight due to injury, I do not. Though I do sincerely apologize to my opponent and the promoter. There is that fine line between courage and stupidity. Sometimes it takes more courage to step aside. As long as you know, "This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man".
I will return to the cage soon. Hopefully in two to three months and perhaps versus the same opponent.